Thursday, February 14, 2013

February 14, 2013


Warning: the content of this Valentine’s Post contains graphic images, language and experiences.

Now that I have your attention, let’s begin.  I want to talk about America’s problem with rape.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

It’s a post I’ve been stewing over for quite a while now and the more newscasts I hear, the more stories told, the more images shared, the more I know how important this post is. 

I’ll try not to make this personal.

But it is personal.  One out of every two people in the world is a woman.  Duh.  And one out of every three women is raped.  Yikes.  Are you at work right now?  Look around you.  How many women do you see?  So, statistically, how many of them have been victims of sexual abuse?  Still at home this morning?  Then, how many women are in your family (moms, sisters, cousins, grandmas, daughters, aunts)?  Now, statistically, how many of those women have been raped?  Has rape become personal for you yet?

I don’t care how Christian a home, how safe a neighborhood, how rich a family… one in three… one in three.  You can’t say it’s not personal.

Like many sexual “things,” rape is not a typical topic for the dinner table.  Miscarriages, STDs, masturbation, four play, even pregnancy are rarely discussed among families, friends or in our education system.  Other than a quick, “Did you hear who’s going to have a baby?” Sex is a topic that Mother’s big blue etiquette book has strictly labeled taboo.  And sexual topics remained that way until sometime past year.

But then the Republican party decided to throw in their two cents. 

Now, this is not a political post.  I know many Republicans who are sensitive to these issues and fight for women’s & gay rights (I don’t actually, but I’m confident they’re out there).  However, some of their party members were highlighted in the news not only for saying abominable things about women, but for saying scientifically false things about women, as any fifth grader who didn’t sleep through their science lesson could tell you.

(For the record, as of February 14, 2013, impregnation occurs when a sperm attaches itself to the egg.  No proof yet of any chemicals, muscle spasms, or magical mini-armies within a woman’s body that can prevent that from happening… despite Republican assertions.  If there were, I think we all would kiss the pill and IUDs and all that other expensive stuff goodbye!)

In addition to Republicans raising the issue (thanks guys, no seriously – thanks for raising the issue), you may have heard of something called a smart phone and You Tube and all these other great marvels that modern technology gives us.  All of a sudden, date rape and gang rape and all sexually deviant acts that are usually confined to corn fields and corner bars and your cousin’s parents’ bedroom have made their way to cyber space, and the world is waking up not to soldiers raping women in Darfur, but to football players raping drunk teenagers at parties, boys gang raping pre-pubescent girls, college kids committing suicide because of their rapists are graduating with honors. 

Did you miss the video of the jocks fingering a passed out girl and eventually sticking their members inside her?  Fortunately, this guy didn’t.  And his criticism of America is SPOT ON.  In fact, I don’t even know why I’m writing this post.  America should just watch this video and be done with sexual deviance.


Did you miss the story of the 18 men who raped an 11 year old girl?  That’s probably because the news reported it barely using the word rape, and asked the vitally important question (note the sarcasm), “Where was her mother?” (if you can’t flat out blame the child – the little girl – blame the next best female, her mom).

And if you’re going to say rape happens because of what woman are wearing nowadays, I have two questions for you… 1. How lame are the men in America that they can forfeit their morality, honorability and accountability because of fashion?  And 2. Here is brave lady who shows you what she was wearing when she was raped…



Pretty sexy, huh?

OMG, you guys this is nothing new!  In something like 1995, I watched Kids, over at a friend’s house, and I learned that for a teenager: drinking was dangerous, sex is scary, and AIDS is easily spread.  But thankfully, that wasn’t a culture I typically ascribed to. 

Fast forward fifteen years, and I hear some asshole on the radio talking about how rape is God’s will, and all of a sudden, I lose control in my car.  My head swings violently back and forth and my feet begin shaking. 

“Fucking Republicans,” I think.  Only a fucking Republican would cause me to have an episode in my car on my way home from work.  And all I thought I had to fight was rush hour.

Like I said, this is a graphic post.

But it’s personal too.  And now you get to hear my dirty little secret: I was sexually abused as a child. 

Truthfully, most women in your life, even those who weren’t raped, can tell you stories of harassment, inappropriate touching, discrimination because of gender, and the list goes on and on.  You name it; we’ve all experienced it.  We live in a grotesquely sexist society.  

I too had my bucket list – not of stuff to do – but of stuff done to me.  The classmate who groped my butt in public, and the pastor who told me to forgive him.  The friend who “played house” by humping me in my bedroom, and the mom who thought it was just kids being kids.  The boyfriend who made me touch him.  The boss who aimed spit balls at my boobs. The colleague who told me who told me what to wear to work.  The list goes on and on.

But I didn’t know how far back it went.

And that’s enough of my personal life for this blog, but suffice it to say, there’s more.  I am the one in three.  That’s why I’m so angry.  And that’s why I had a visceral reaction to a republican on the radio, and almost wrecked my car.

Do you know what happens when you’re being sexually abused? 

If you’re awake and alert, you only see light.  Maybe that’s God shining down on us in our misery.  Promising us that She is there, that She will take away the face and the feelings and help our bodies defend against the offense.  Or you see scenery.  Not the perpetrator, but the trees, the house next door, the sky, the ceiling, the color of furniture.  You cling to what is real, stationary, and everything else fades away. 

Why am I telling you this and not my therapist?  Because sexual deviancy starts at home.  We have to teach our fathers, our brothers, and our sons to treat women as beautiful sacred creatures, as equal to men.  We have to teach our people that sex is sacred, not a right or an opportunity or a toy.  We have to promote legislation that protects our grandmothers (yep, they get raped too!), our mothers, our sisters and our daughters (and our sons – I haven’t even touched on that aspect) and their sexual reproductive organs and their dignity. 

When I was in college they called me stringent, when I was in grad school, they called me a femi-nazi.  But I’ll never forget listening to one Christian man give his testimony at a graduation event, and hearing my name come up.  “And I’d like to thank Ann, for not letting me make jokes about women, and for teaching me that women are important too.”  I was proud then.  It makes me sad now. 

Have I become too laxidasical in my old age (smiley face – I’ll be 35 in May)?  Have I finally given up on speaking up on behalf of women? 

Truth be told, I didn’t know that people were legitimately sexist against women until college!  (Thank you mom & dad).  I thought women jokes were like blond jokes (Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory?  She threw out all the Ws!”), and were just silly ways to get a laugh.  I didn’t realize they were founded in a worldview – that women can’t do what men can.   That women are less.  Unequal.  Products.  Projects.  Property.

It’s messed up.  Really, it is.  And I don’t have the answer.  All I can do is write, and grieve, and try to love every child and adult I come in contact with as the whole and beautiful person God made them to be.

And I can write blogs.  And share youtube videos.  And pictures.  And beg you, to please, get help if you can’t control your sexuality.  And please, love the women in your life, protect them, stand up for them, give them grace… because undoubtedly someone else won’t.