While I'm not big on using drugs outside of their normal functions, (I prefer to break the 10 mg tablet into two, take the half of it before bed and then go to sleep. Upon occasion though, I will need to change my sheets after taking the sedative. Or i'll realize I've got clothes in the washer that need to be changed over to the dryer. Stuff to do around the house... brush my teeth, feed the dog, put on pajamas that may not have been considered pre-drug-entering-mouth stage. So when this happens, instead of going straight to bed, I putter around the house getting the last things done. But this puttering usually includes bumping into things and see the world swirl around before you when you know you're movin' but not as fast as it. It makes me very self-aware. And very bold too which may be part of the self-awareness. If one used to be bold and courageous and isn't anymore, then perhaps under the ambien induced self-awareness of the need for speed or risk or boldness, then I may say things I would normally catch in the discretion collander. I may do things normally prohibitted by well, good-common sense. Good-common-sense may tell you to "put your keys in the plant outside your house so a friend can find them but common-sense does not tell you to drop the keys on the front porch where they will surely be seen by not only said friend, but anyone else who should happen to wander up to your house that you live in by yourself in the ghetto.
My point is sometimes you do stupid things. But other times, our minds become so keenly open because our bodies are slowing down and no longer distracting us, and we see life as it really is... a mess. It's a slow-moving, whooshy, mess or men and women trying to be something they're not in part because they've never been ambiened and seen what comes out as a result. They can't see that they're playing a game as they concentrate hard not to bump into the couch when they pass it, not to run into that chair's foot as we go by. It's a concentration game of getting though. And that's exactly what life really is. A Game. We're playing a game that no one will see how drugged we are and how easy it is with help. A Game, we're all just tiptoeing around pretending to know what we're doing. When we never do.
Never do.
